All AgitProp, all the time...

Saturday, April 05, 2003


Something that we can all support.

I have received an e-mail from Aaron G. in which he invites me to participate in Buy a Gun for Michael Moore Day, which is on April 15.

This is a cause that I am happy to support (let's face it, anything that spites Moore is my kind of campaign). If you would like to lend a hand to this excellent project, go visit Aaron's blog, click on Fat Bastard's face at the top of the page, and it'll all fall into place.

Remember, just like Eat an Animal for PETA Day, if you don't do it for yourself, do it for the children™.


Just a Thought...

Alan Henderson mentions that there has recently been an unofficial contest to select a suitable tune to play as Coalition forces march under Baghdad's Victory Arch.

Personally, I'd suggest Fuckin' in the Bushes by Oasis. The title might not be family-friendly, but it has perfect cadence for a quick march (not to mention that I'm sure that the UK troops might appreciate it).

Hell, I'd pay to see it happen.


Arnett Watch

Arabiya TV Hires Sacked Arnett for Iraq Coverage

I give it two more days before he gets hired by Pravda; six until Hezbollah's Al-Manar TV decides to pick him up.

DUBAI (Reuters) - Dubai-based Al Arabiya television said on Saturday it had signed up veteran U.S. reporter Peter Arnett to help cover the U.S.-led war in Iraq days after he was fired by U.S. network NBC.

The news channel said Arnett, who won a Pulitzer Prize for his Vietnam War coverage, joined its three-man team in the Iraqi capital Baghdad two days ago and that he had already appeared on live broadcasts.

"Peter Arnett is a professional correspondent and is known for his coverage of the 1991 Gulf War. His presence is a good thing," Al Arabiya news editor Salah Nejm told Reuters.

On March 31, NBC fired Arnett after he gave an interview to state-owned Iraqi television in which he said the U.S. military's battle plan had failed.

British tabloid newspaper the Daily Mirror and Belgian television outlet VTM have since hired Arnett, who gained international fame covering the first Gulf War for CNN in 1991.

Al Arabiya and fellow Arab networks al Jazeera and Abu Dhabi TV are vying to win audiences by their coverage of the war.


OK, now maybe it's just me, but isn't this asshole profiting a bit too much from getting canned by NBC and National Geographic for being a prick and amateur traitor?


HEH.

Blast Rocks Toilet at Lebanon McDonald's Restaurant

BEIRUT (Reuters) - A small blast ripped through the toilets of a McDonalds restaurant on the edge of Beirut on Saturday, security sources said, the latest in a string of attacks on fast food outlets associated with the United States.

At least two people were lightly injured in the blast, caused by a small chunk of dynamite hidden in the toilet of the restaurant, the sources said.


"Our fearless desert lions have struck a blow against the Great Satan's favourite restaurant! Allahu Akbar! For our next trick, we will start blowing up mailboxes at the American University, to bring the so-called US to its knees!"

Security forces evacuated the building, and were checking it for any other explosives, they added.

Anger at Washington has swelled in Lebanon since the start of the U.S.-led war on Iraq last month.

Anti-American sentiment had already been building up over the course of the 30-month Palestinian uprising and attempts by U.S. ally Israel to crush it.


There is no force more powerful than Arab anger and random seething...

There has been a string of bombings at fast food outlets associated with the United States since May 2002, when one person was injured in the bombing of a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet in the northern port city of Tripoli.

In November, small blasts shook three restaurants in Beirut and northern Lebanon, including two Pizza Hut outlets.


Hmmm, so they've struck McDonald's, KFC, and Pizza Hut. If you're in the area, I'd suggest that you avoid Burger King, the Law of Sod indicates that it should be next.


The Empire strikes back...

UK Strips Radical Muslim Cleric of Citizenship

Heh.

LONDON (Reuters) - Britain has revoked the citizenship of a radical Muslim cleric who applauded the September 11 attacks and was banned from preaching at a London mosque, Home Secretary David Blunkett said on Saturday.

I'm sure that he never saw that coming...

Blunkett said he had informed Abu Hamza al-Masri his citizenship was being stripped. He is the first person targeted under new measures aimed at deporting immigrants whose words or actions are deemed to "seriously prejudice" British interests.

I think that we could use one of these laws up here; we could surprise the crap out of immigrants that hold dual citizenship and think that they own the place.

"I have sent him a letter withdrawing his citizenship," Blunkett told BBC radio. Masri now faces deportation.

Heh, you've got to love the personal touch.

Egyptian-born Masri, a hate figure in British tabloids that have focused on his missing eye and hook in the place of his right hand, has been vilified for applauding the September 11 attacks in the United States and the deaths of Americans and an Israeli in the crash of the space shuttle Columbia.

Oh, he's a fun guy all around, isn't he?


Friday, April 04, 2003


Blogwolves

Robert Prather has a post up about last night's Blogwolves chat session, in which I was happy to participate.

One of the mysteries revealed last night: just how many times I will have to genuflect over the incident in which those American pee-wee hockey players were booed in Montreal.

Steve, I'm really very sorry. The people that did the booing were the usual classless peasants.

Thirty-five genuflections to go...


This goes to show just how far hiring standards have fallen...

Belgium's VTM Television Signs Up Peter Arnett

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - Belgian commercial television station VTM said on Friday it had signed up veteran U.S. reporter Peter Arnett to provide daily coverage on the war in Iraq from the Iraqi capital, Baghdad.

I can't wait to find out whether Arnett speaks French or Flemish.

Pulitzer-prize winner Arnett was sacked by American TV network NBC after he told Iraqi television the U.S. war plan against Iraqi President Saddam Hussein had failed.

Britain's tabloid newspaper, the Daily Mirror, one of the most prominent opponents of Britain's involvement in the war, earlier this week said it had also hired the reporter.


Goes to show what happens when you can't find anyone reputable to work for you.

New Zealand-born Arnett, 68, who as a CNN reporter in 1991 was one of the few Western journalists reporting from Baghdad during the 1991 Gulf War, said in an interview on Sunday with state-owned Iraqi TV that the U.S. military would need to rewrite its war plan.

I had no idea that he was a Kiwi, go figure.


Hmmmm...

Amid Iraq Fears, N.Korea's Kim Reappears

SEOUL (Reuters) - North Korea reported on Friday leader Kim Jong-il's first public appearance in 50 days, a visit to a military medical college that analysts said underscored Pyongyang's belief it will be the next U.S. target after Iraq.

No news as to whether he saw his shadow, though.


Some people will just seize any excuse to complain...

Bush Mix of God and War Grates on Many Europeans

PARIS (Reuters) - The religious overtones in President Bush's speeches increasingly grate on many ears in Europe, where leaders invoking God in times of war are widely suspect of misusing faith for political purposes.

No less than the German president, French prime minister and Belgian foreign minister have joined religious leaders in expressing concern about Bush's beliefs and the place of religion in U.S. politics.


Well, I find it slightly tiresome myself; that being said, these people have way too much spare time on their hands.


Well, according to Shecky Saeed al-Sahaf...

...or however his name is spelled, the Iraqi Information Minister and insult comic, during his current news conference:

They dropped five columns [of tanks - Ed.], it was a huge dropping.

Well, quite...

Update: he then went on to say that there will be a non-conventional attack at the airport tonight, that will "teach the mercenaries a lesson". I'm hoping that he's meaning exploding lunatics rather than chemical weapons. At any rate, here's a note to the troops: if you have any weirdos approaching the airport with towels on their heads and explosives strapped on, shoot first, ask questions later. It's not like they're planning on using the airport to go on vacation, and we'd like you all to come home in one piece.


Thursday, April 03, 2003


Cheese-eating Surrender Monkey Watch

(Hat tip: the Gaggle)

French PM: U.S. Made Triple Mistake with War

PARIS (Reuters) - French Prime Minister Jean-Pierre Raffarin said on Thursday the United States made a moral, political and strategic mistake by starting war in Iraq.

Whine, whine, whine, seethe, seethe, seethe... It really sucks to be shown up by those American savages, doesn't it, J-P?

"The Americans made a triple mistake: First of all a moral mistake, I think ... there was an alternative to war. We could have disarmed Iraq differently," Raffarin said in an interview on France 3 television.

"We were planning on offering them cheese and Brigitte Bardot in exchange for their weapons of mass destruction, but then you people had to come in and ruin it for everyone..."

"Also, (they made) a political mistake, because we know very well the difficulties of this region of the world," he added. "And then, there is a strategic mistake: this idea that today one country can lead the world."

Awwwwwwww, poor Froggy, he feels left out...

Oh, by the way, Raffarin, you might want to spend more time looking for the scum that defaced those Commonwealth war graves, and less time running your mouth. To quote your boss, you're missing a golden opportunity to shut up.


BBC Watch

For the past forty-eight hours, Rageh Omar has been whining about the lack of phone service in Baghdad.

Tonight's major Baghdad issue: the lights are out.

Tsk, what an inconvenient war this is...

Update: it turns out that the man's name is Rageh Omaar, so I apologise for the error.


Heh, Chrétien finally gets slapped...

Senior U.S. Adviser Says Canadian PM a 'Lame Duck'

OTTAWA (Reuters) - An influential adviser to the U.S. administration used an interview published on Thursday to write off Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien as "a lame duck" who was giving support to Saddam Hussein, and said Ottawa would pay a price for not sending troops to Iraq.

The comments by Richard Perle were the strongest attack yet by Washington on Chretien and underline how seriously relations between the world's two largest trading partners have deteriorated in recent months.

Officials say the administration of U.S. President George W. Bush is irate over Canada's refusal to send troops to Iraq and a series of anti-American comments by members of Chretien's ruling Liberal Party.


I really appreciate Richard Perle, he likes to speak his mind, and he isn't tethered by the usual diplomatic constraints.

"The Prime Minister is a lame duck. So that may help explain the failure to appreciate the disappointment that would be caused not only by the Canadian government policy on Iraq, but by the cacophony of criticism -- much of it ill-informed and much of it simply name-calling," he said.

"There is simply no other way to describe the positions of some countries -- not many, but some countries -- which is to lend far more support to Saddam Hussein's regime than they may have intended by the positions they have taken."


This should serve as a wake-up call to all the morons in the Liberal Party that just wouldn't shut the fuck up when they had the chance to do so. Sitting around and hoping that no-one south of the border would notice their behaviour is obviously not a winning strategy.

Perle also accused Chretien and French President Jacques Chirac of opposing the war because of "an unwillingness to confront" Iraqi President Saddam Hussein and predicted the prime minister would be embarrassed when weapons of mass destruction were found.

Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves, if the PM came close to even understanding the concept of embarrassment, he would have resigned years ago.

"If Canada wishes to subordinate its moral and political values to President Chirac -- so be it. Chirac and Chretien deserve each other," said Perle...

Ouch.


Well, quite a few good things might come out of this war yet...

According to the good folks over at Strategy Page:

April 2, 2003: The effective use of the M109 155mm self propelled artillery in Iraq may bring the recently cancelled Crusader system back to life. The current M109A6 "Paladin" has a lot of the electronic and communications systems the Crusader will have, and is regularly delivering accurate (to within a few meters of the target) fire within three minutes of being called on. The MLRS is still being used, but mainly to destroy enemy artillery spotted via counterbattery radar (which calculates the position of enemy guns by back tracking the trajectory of shells just fired). Once the counterbattery radar has fix on the enemy gun, it transmits the location to a nearby MLRS battery, which fires several rockets (each carrying 644 submunitions) at that position. The submunitions pepper the enemy equipment with these shaped charged submunitions, each which can penetrate armor and generally destroy whatever it hits. The submunitions also send out fragments, acting like a hand grenade as well, as far as any enemy troops in the area are concerned.) After about a week, Iraqi artillery stopped firing, either because most of it was destroyed, or because the Iraqi gunners knew that to do so was suicide. But in the battles up and down the supply routes into Iraq, it is the M109 155mm guns that do most of the work. Whenever a convoy runs into some opposition, rifle and machine-gun fire from troops on the spot, and a few rounds from an M109 10-20 kilometers away usually clears it away. When the war is over, the artillery officers will be cranking out Power Point presentations showing how Crusader could have done it even better.

Well, here's to hoping. I definitely am a fan of Don Rumsfeld, but it doesn't stop me thinking that the idea of cancelling Crusader was ill-considered. No matter how much air support you might have, depriving the Army of self-propelled Howitzers is a half-assed concept (no matter how light and air-transportable you want your combat formations to become).


Bwahahahaahahahaahahahahahaahahahahaahahahaahahaaaaaaaaa!

(Taken verbatim from LGF)

Protesters Under Lorries Again

Oh man. If you thought yesterday’s story about the British peace ninnies who chained themselves to a bomb convoy was funny, you are not going to believe this. They did the exact same thing again today, and the whining went up a few octaves. I can’t stop laughing. (Hat tip: Rob Hinkley, who comments: “Even a *squirrel* learns to try a different trick when its first attempt at the birdfeeder fails. This leads us to ask an inevitable question: Are bomb convoy protestors actually as clever as squirrels?”)

"It is with disappointment that I have to tell you that we failed to stop another bomb convoy from the Munitions depot at Welford to USAF Fairford. We had another plan, it worked – except for one factor that we didn’t take into consideration: that the drivers of the bomb lorries were perfectly prepared (instructed?) to drive off with PROTESTERS UNDER THE LORRIES.

Waiting in a ditch by the side of the slip road of the Cheiveley Junction/Roundabout (M4) the first set of protesters ran on to the motorway, locking themselves together with armtubes and straps. This stopped the convoy long enough for others to attempt to lock on to the lorries themselves, before being manhandled to the side of the motorway. Meanwhile, two made it under the trucks, and began to lock-on. Despite being told that that there was protesters under the lorry by the support team the lorries started edging forward. Understandably, the two under the lorries didn’t finish locking themselves to moving vehicles and were dragged out by the Police.

Again, after removing the blockage the police showed no interest in arresting us, and a few of the activists managed to get to a vehicle and pursue the convoy.

Others walked back to the service station, and we’re subsequently searched under the Prevention of Terrorism Act (section 44).

Having just made it back home, I have been feeling despondent that we didn’t manage it at the second attempt, but self-pity is especially pathetic at a time when people are being murdered from a great height by your own government: we’ll come up with a new plan and we’ll try again."

Bwahahaha! Oh... oh... bwahahahaha! Gasp... heh. Heh heh. BWAHAHAHA!


Allow me to follow that up with... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!


A Statement from the Management

Well, I have just checked my counter, and I finally made it past one thousand visitors last night; this gratifies me on many levels, and brings me a great deal of joy (especially since this thing still isn't two months old yet).

To those committed masochists amongst you that keep on coming back for more on a daily basis: thank you, you make it all worthwhile.

I would also like to thank the people whose support, encouragement, and random link pimping have made this possible: (in no particular order) Nick Packwood, Sasha & Andrew Castel-Dodge, Andrea Harris, Chris Textor, Ith & the rest of the Gaggle, Alan K. Henderson, Steve H., Julie Neidlinger, Kathy Kinsley, Rachel Lucas, the Inscrutable American, Common Sense & Wonder, and last, but not least, Michael Moore, because, to paraphrase Chico Escuela, that Fat Fuck been berry berry good to me (people keep on googling him).

Anyway, I think that covers everyone (at least I hope it does), if anyone has been left out, please let me know (and don't take it personally). Thank you all, really.

Cheers,

Paul


Hmmm, I discover new things every day...

It seems as though I have been blogrolled over at Common Sense & Wonder, where much good reading appears to be afoot. In retaliation, I have blogrolled them back. ;)

To Max, John, Barbara, and Jerry: thank you.

Furthermore, John picked up where I left off on my bitch-slapping of popular Boche amnesiac, Gerhard Peters, and scored a nice goal:

"My heart goes out to the poor suffering people in Baghdad," said 76-year-old Gerhard Peters, who deserted the army in Berlin just days before the war ended in 1945. "I'm sure they didn't want this war just like we didn't want our war. And now they're dying for it. I can imagine they are just as miserable as we were."

Hmmm...deserted just days before the war ended, from the war you didn't want. How convenient. It's just us warmongering Americans and Brits again, disturbing all the poor murdering, dictators in the world. Gerhard may be suffering from a little old-age induced memory loss. Do you think, Gerhard, that the war had something to do with the invasion of the Rhineland, Czechoslovakia, Poland, France, Stalingrad...mass killings of entire populations of Jews, Gypsys, Gays, Catholics. Were you carrying any signs in Berlin in 1936 to protest the invasion of the Rhineland (No, well maybe you believed it was a rightful German provence). How about in 1938 to protest the invasion of Czechoslovakia, did you carry signs saying : Hitler=Hitler, No Blut for Crazy Racial Theories, Down with the German Military Industrial Complex? No? How about in 1939 when Poland was invaded? or 1940 when Belgium, Netherlands and France were invaded? No? When exactly did you decide you didn't want the war? Could it have been a couple of days before the war ended in 1945? I'll bet you had a nicely pressed and starched uniform before that and did your Heil Hitlers with a proud snap. I'm sorry I can't muster more sympathy for your bad feelings Gerhard, there's not much left over from the sympathy I have for the millions of people your cohorts murdered in concentration camps. Rant over, I feel better now.


"No Blut for Crazy Racial Theories", heh. The bolding is mine.

Anyway, spring forth and say hi.


Wednesday, April 02, 2003


Random thought, bear with me...

In conversation last night, I said that the Iraqi Information Minister could very well be the next Don Rickles; I mean, with lines like "international criminal gang of bastards", you can't really go wrong.

Tonight, in an epiphany, I finally realised who his voice makes me think of: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. All he needs to do is throw in a "for me to poop on" at the end of every other sentence, and clutch a cigar...

Anyway, maybe it's just me...


Quote of the Day

Care of Brian:

Those who live by the sword get shot at by those who don't.

Well, it makes me laugh...


Bloody CBC

Nick Packwood provides further evidence of the blatant perfidy and bias over at the CBC, where an Executive VP has chosen to slap Don Cherry around some more for speaking his mind.

I can think of a million things on which I'd rather have my tax dollars spent, such as new tanks, helicopters, and transport planes for the military! (I think I'm going to make that my new catch-phrase.)

Go forth and read, it's well worth it.


BBC Watch

That Rageh Omar guy is still whining about the US taking out the telecom exchange in downtown Baghdad (it's been almost thirty-six hours now, and he's still at it).

What is his fixation with the bloody phones about?


Oh for the love of...

(Hat tip: Julie Neidlinger)

Soldier Says He's Conscientious Objector

With his sister carrying his duffel bag and his mother holding his hand, a 20-year-old Marine reservist surrendered to the military Tuesday and declared himself a conscientious objector.

Oh my, what a wiener...

Wearing camouflage fatigues, Lance Cpl. Stephen Funk turned himself in at the locked gates of the Marine Corps reserve center where he was assigned, weeks after refusing to report when called up to active duty.

"Ultimately, it's my fault for joining in the first place," said Funk, who didn't show up when his unit was deployed to Camp Pendleton. "It wasn't as well thought out as it should've been. It was about me being depressed and wanting direction in life."

Funk said he's attended every major San Francisco Bay area anti-war rally since finishing his military training last fall. He insisted his decision had nothing to do with the war in Iraq.


Right, nothing whatsoever to do with it... Maybe the USMC wasn't really for you. It's a shame that the Women's Auxiliary Balloon Corps no longer exists, you would have probably fit right in...

Funk, who grew up in Washington state, enlisted when he was 19 and living on his own for the first time. He said he caved in to pressure from a recruiter who capitalized on his vulnerability.

"They don't really advertise that they kill people," Funk said. "I didn't really realize the full implications of what I was doing and what it really meant to be in the service as a reservist."


*Banging head on desk...* No, being a Marine is all about wearing that cool uniform and playing with swords, no killing involved. What a complete and absolute fuckwit.


HEH.

Al-Jazeera ("All Jihad, all the Time") has footage of a hundred and fifty Yemenis that are in Baghdad to fight for Saddam.

Gentlemen, welcome to the party. ;)

I predict that they will have the same sort of luck as the Pakistani volunteers that went to Afghanistan to fight for the Taliban: the minute things go tits-up in Baghdad, the locals will steal their guns and their money, and they will have to use whatever items of clothing they have left as white flags.


Hmmmm, I have been quoted...

...over at the House of Castel-Dodge:

A Sen Kerry question...

While discussing Kerry's Jewish ancestry.

Andrew: Hrm, wonder if Guinness is Kosher?
Paul: Well, it all depends on how you slaughter the hops...


Well, it amuses me, OK?


Well, I'll just go on saying it every time one of these items appears...

Canada to Raise Foreign Farm Aid Fivefold by 2008

OTTAWA (Reuters) - The Canadian International Development Agency (CIDA) made an about-face in spending priorities on Wednesday with a plan to raise foreign farm aid to C$500 million ($338 million) by 2008 from C$95 million now.

CIDA's current level of agricultural aid is about 5 percent of its total budget, down from 11 percent in 1990, but it intends to ramp up spending to an estimated 15 percent of its budget by 2008.

"It's all new money," International Cooperation Minister Susan Whelan told about 60 diplomats, farm lobbyists and lawmakers when unveiling the new policy.

"We were given new money in the (February) budget," Whelan added. "The budget restored our baseline funding so we can plan into the future."


Hey, assholes, where's the money for new tanks, helicopters, and transport planes for the military?!


Goes to show that the laity does not have a monopoly on idiocy...

Nuns Say They Wanted to Protect Iraqi Children

You'd figure that they would have been told that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, no matter how misguided they might be.

DENVER (Reuters) - Three Catholic nuns wanted to protect the children of Iraq with a "symbolic disarmament" when they trespassed on a missile silo in northern Colorado last year, one of the sisters told a court on Tuesday.

Of course, because you just know that the USAF was priming itself to lob a Minuteman III at Iraq any minute now...

"We hope to dismantle the weapons of mass destruction one by one," Sister Ardeth Platte, who is representing herself, told jurors during her opening statement.

So they couldn't have hitched themselves to a Fleet Ballistic Missile submarine? At least that would have been funnier...

Platte, and two other Dominican Sisters Carolyn Gilbert and Jackie Hudson, are on trial for alleged sabotage and malicious destruction of property related to an Oct. 6 break-in at the Minuteman III silo where they cut cables and made the sign of the cross on the silo lid with their own blood.

Ahhh, nothing says "protest" like a bit of creative self-mutilation... Mind you, you'd think that missile silos would be a bit better guarded.

"We've all heard that there was a targeting of the people of Iraq who were threatened with mass murder by the use of nuclear weapons. All we could think of was the children and we had to do something," Platte told jurors in a courtroom packed with supporters.

We have? Who told you that, God? At least someone bothered to think of the children™.

"We went there to inspect, expose and do a symbolic disarmament," she said. Hudson and Gilbert, who are represented by attorneys, and Platte belong to Sacred Earth & Space Plowshares, a national movement for nuclear disarmament.

Well, at least they were better at it than Blix. Then again, it's not like the missile silos were a big secret...

Federal prosecutor Robert Brown, in a call to patriotism during the U.S. led attack on Iraq, told jurors well-trained members of the military are there to use the missiles to protect the country.

"They're defending you and the United States of America and have prevented anyone from firing a missile at this country for over 40 years."


SLAP, heh.

If convicted, the women face a prison sentence of up to 30 years and fines of up to $250,000.

That'll teach them, bloody nuns.


Ooooh, well now I'm scared...

Arabs Warn U.S. Not to Use Iraq to Pick New Fights

Now they're taking the traditional French "All Posturing, all the Time" approach.

By Sami Aboudi

Another one of those old Kikuyu names, no doubt.

CAIRO (Reuters) - Arab commentators and officials warned the United States on Wednesday that its war on Iraq was widening its circle of enemies in the Middle East and urged Washington to refrain from picking new fights.

Does this mean that the people that were pretending to be our friends are going to drop the charade? Getting a wee bit nervous, are we?

The comments came in the wake of recent threats by senior members of President Bush's administration against Syria and Iran, and later Israeli warnings to Damascus, that they would be held to account if they gave support to Iraq.

Samir Ragab, editor of mainstream Egyptian daily al-Gomhuria, said threats issued by Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and Secretary of State Colin Powell were hurting Washington's standing in the area at a time when it was making few gains on the ground in Iraq.


...except for the fact that it owns the skies, sea, and most of the land..

"It will not be in U.S. interests to hurl threats at certain countries and create the impression that they are next on the list of U.S. targets," Ragab wrote in a comment column.

So what are you going to do about it if they are next, eh Sammy? I'd love to see what the Egyptian military will look like as soon as it stops getting American money to sustain it. It's not like you can go back to the Soviets for hand-outs... Expired dates don't make for a very brutal weapon...

"It is expected that the U.S. would keep silent, otherwise it will widen the circle of its enemies," Ragab said.

Good, you can join up with the French and create an historic case of the cowardly leading the impotent.

Powell and Rumsfeld have signaled in separate comments that Syria must abandon what they say is its support for Iraq and "terrorism" or face the consequences.

You have to love those Reuters scare quotes...

Ghassan al-Khatib, Palestinian minister of labor, said the U.S. approach would destabilize the region and harm Western interests. "Democracy cannot be introduced by tanks and warplanes," he said.

Well, as the Palestinian case proves, it can't be introduced by massive amounts of foreign aid and mutual masturbation either.

Anti-U.S. sentiments in the Arab world have been stoked by images on television screens and in local media of Iraqi children and women killed by American attacks.

Thank you, Al-Jazeera. (By the way, if Al-Jazeera is based in Qatar, and owned by the sheik thereof, doesn't this mean that we could get him to make them behave? I mean, isn't the war being conducted from there? Hello? HELLO??)

Demonstrations have been taking place across the Arab world. On Wednesday, some 20,000 people protested in Lebanon's southern city of Sidon, carrying pictures of Iraqi President Saddam Hussein and graphic photos of Iraqi children killed in the war.

Get a job, losers.

"They're just threatening Syria and Iran to cover up for their failure on the battlefield," Beirut taxi driver Mahmoud said. "I wish to God that Syria and Iran would open fronts against the Americans. Then they'd learn what it really means to invade an Arab country."

Yeah, toppling three governments at once would be much funnier, bring it on, Mahmoud.

In the West Bank city of Ramallah, Bassam Zakarneh, a 35-year-old engineer, said if the United States carried out threats to extend the war to Syria and Iran, "everything that has to do with America in the Arab world will be threatened in return."

Well, it's entirely up to you, but a lot of people will be seriously cheesed off if you start blowing up every Chevrolet in the region...

"They will be creating a thousand (Osama) Bin Ladens because of their double standards," he said, referring to the leader of al Qaeda, Washington's prime suspect in the September 11, 2001, attacks on New York and Washington.

Good, a thousand more bearded jerk-offs that'll move to Montana with OBL, Elvis, Tupac Shakur, and that Nefarious BIG guy (AKA Jabba the Rap).

Bahraini banker Nabeel Saeed said Bush's policies would rebound on him. "Bush is (like) a child with a toy which he does not know how to play with. It could harm himself or others.

Oh, you mean like you morons and oil?

"Bush is so stupid, and at every news conference he makes America lose a friend and win an enemy," said Moussa Ali, a 40-year-old Palestinian in Gaza.

So how's life in the refugee camp, you twat? We don't want friends like you, we prefer the non-exploding kind.

"I really hope that America will engage in war with Syria and Iran; it will be the end of the so-called United States."

"And just you wait until Halloween! Then the Big Halal Pumpkin will rise from the field, and blow itself up in the vicinity of the closest Al-McDonald's..."

Syria's official Tishreen newspaper warned that the dangers of the Iraq war would affect the entire Arab world.

"Will Arabs realize the magnitude of the hazard sweeping through their homeland and take action? Or are they going to stay divided, some supporting the aggressors and some watching and rejoicing at the misfortune (of Iraq)? What a disgrace," it said in a commentary.


Sorry, but they're going with the latter option, pal.


Day late, Dollar short...

France Worried by Anti-U.S. Tone in Iraq Protests

PARIS (Reuters) - A poll showing one-third of the French want the United States to lose the Iraq war has spread concern in Paris, prompting politicians to warn opponents of war not to protest more strongly against Washington than Baghdad.

With anti-war President Jacques Chirac silent, Prime Minister Jean-Pierre Raffarin has taken the lead in urging the French not to forget the United States is an ally of long standing while Iraqi President Saddam Hussein is a dictator.

Legislators from both government and opposition have chimed in, insisting they still oppose the U.S.-led war but are upset by pro-Saddam groups appearing in some peace marches here.

This new tone reflects growing official concern that France's staunch anti-war stand, which has badly strained relations with Washington, could be misinterpreted and cause even more tension among allies after the war ends.


Well, between this and the desecration of war graves, they really shouldn't expect everything to be peachy-keen when the war ends.


Cheese-eating surrender monkeys - a class act all the way...

(Hat tip: The Gaggle) It seems that the French have been busy desecrating a British military cemetary. I can only hope that they don't make a trend out of this, as only the lowest forms of life would engage in such behaviour. At any rate, Steven Den Beste has a few thoughts on the manner, and, as usual, they're on target.

"Rest in Peace", we say. R.I.P. adorns many gravestones. Thousands of English-speaking soldiers who died in France to defend it, or to liberate it, apparently cannot rest there in peace. Their very presence is resented; cold and silent, drawing no breath, they speak loudly and deliver a message that the French do not want to hear, against which there are no arguments.

They bear mute testimony to the fact that the French could not defend themselves. Because of their presence and their inability to speak, they puncture French pretensions to greatness. They represent irrefutable proof that the French have had to rely, again and again, on us for salvation, but we have not had to rely on them. In the last 200 years, no English speaking nation has ever required French help to defend itself.

Tens of thousands of Aussies and Canucks and Yanks sleep forever in the cold soil of France. But there are no French military cemeteries in Australia or Canada or the US.

For this crime, for speaking the truth about French weakness and decline so eloquently by not making a sound, not even our military dead can be tolerated; the French must lash out and punish even those who gave everything they had for France.

Our war dead have been targeted because they can no longer fight back.


But we can.

Oh, PS: Chirac, we know where Napoleon is buried, don't make us dig him up and take him back to St. Helena.


Tuesday, April 01, 2003


Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

Steve H. parodies today's "I'm not dead yet!" statement from Saddam:

Al-Sahaf: Our fearless leader Saddam Hussein regret he not be here today, and he provide letter which I now read to you. "Dear Subjects: Hi from Uncle Saddam in sunny Florida. I fine, not being turned into lumpy pulp by puny cruise missile or anything like that. Hoping you are same. Uday and Qusay here too and send hugs and kisses. Uday say he miss him 'peeps' and hope to rape them again real soon.

I not know what are 'peeps.'

Sorry I not there in person. As you know, this spring break, and I not letting vacation be ruined by silly infidels, Allah rot their intestines and Lyme disease ticks feed on their prostates. When invasion start, kids and I already booked for trip to Florida, and you know what it like to exchange nonrefundable ticket. I try. I hold bloody phone for hours waiting for Expedia customer service, listening to bloody Bee Gees, but finally I lose patience and shoot phone.


Venture forth, and read.


HEH + HEH = HEH HEH

The NY Times on Madonna:

Music promoters say that marketing Madonna to teenagers and young adults is difficult because most people in those age groups do not like to listen to the same music their parents do. Madonna, 44, is the same age or older than the parents of the target demographic of most record companies, they say. Her fan base is now made up mostly of people older than 25 and gay listeners, though she has retained a large international following. (She lives in Britain with her two young children and Mr. Ritchie.)

The bolding is mine... Heh...


Sasha revisits 9/11...

It's amazing to see the flood of emotions and memories that can be triggered by bumping into some old newspapers, and excerpt from Sasha's essay follows:

There I sat, on the floor of the storage room, newspapers strewn all around me as I cried. And I thought to myself, this isn't so different, what we are going through now. The families of Iraq, fathers killed by a murderous regime, mothers raped, children kidnapped and tortured, to serve some bloody idea of Saddam's omnipotence. With Al Qaeda, it left thousands of destroyed families in New York, even as we never saw the men threatening us. Saddam is just as deadly and even more visible to his tormented citizens.

I have nothing but the vilest comtempt for those who oppose the liberation of Iraq. Perhaps our forces will not bring perfect democracy to Iraq. That is certainly a lot to hope for. But anything is better than the fear, that fear that we all felt in the aftermath of September 11, that our families may be cruelly taken from us because of some fanatic. We feel it here in the USA, and we can empathize with the people in Iraq who feel it too. The Australians, too, understand; they lost hundreds in the Bali nightclub massacre. The French and Germans do not understand: they think that feeding the monster will make it more docile. It won't, it just makes it more ravenous. And they are willing to sacrifice American and English and Australian lives to keep it sated.


Go read, it's the best you'll find this side of Bill Whittle.


HEH HEH.

Fark.com has another Photoshop contest (hat tip: DumbCelebs.com), the victim this time is Martin Sheen, go look.


A People's Republic of Quebeckistan for the sake of nookie?

Well, I haven't said anything about this until now, but Chris Textor seems to like bringing up the subject.

Chris, I live here, and yes, this place does have its fair share of jerks (some might even include me in that bunch, but let's not go there). However, separation is a very emotional subject for those of us who live here, especially those of us that love our country, right or wrong (and there's been a lot of wrong floating about lately). It's such an emotional subject that it shouldn't be trivialised, even if it is for the sake of getting laid.

I don't think that you really want to associate yourself with people that are Hell-bent on preventing the use of English on signs, or in most public fora. Most people are free to use whatever language they want on signs, no matter where they live. We don't really have that option (oh, the law is a bit more flexible these days, but English characters have to be much smaller than the French ones; there's nothing sadder than a pissing contest amongst languages).

Tex, there are federalist chicks with nice asses over here too, you know. You might want to broaden your ass horizons. ;)


Bloody Blogspot

I'm terribly sorry about the posting delay today, Blogspot has been down for the past seven hours. I have been able to post, but not publish.


Heh, talk about strange bedfellows...

Taken verbatim from A Gaggle of Gals (and One Guy):

Dixie Chicks Get Support From Al Gore

The Dixie Chicks controversy continues with the trio getting some support from former Vice President Al Gore. Gore spoke to a college audience last week on the subject of fewer companies owning more media outlets, and what he sees as the increasing lack of tolerance for opposing views.

According to the Tennessean, Gore used recent attacks on the Dixie Chicks that followed anti-war comments by Natalie Maines as an example. Gore told the audience, "They were made to feel un-American and risked economic retaliation because of what was said. Our democracy has taken a hit," Gore said. "Our best protection is free and open debate."


I tend to think that having Al Gore's support is tantamount to receiving the kiss of death, but don't go by me.


This had potential...

Jesse Jackson to help find missing journalists

It started off promisingly enough, didn't it?

MELVILLE, New York (AP) -- The Rev. Jesse Jackson said Monday he has told the families of two missing Newsday journalists last seen in Baghdad that he would try to help track down their whereabouts.

Jackson, who has had success in negotiating the release of American prisoners in past conflicts, said relatives of Newsday correspondent Matthew McAllester, 33, and photographer Moises Saman, 29, asked him Sunday to help locate the two men.

"And I said I would do my very best," Jackson said. He said he had no plans to travel to the region, however.


There you have it, defeat snatched from the jaws of victory at the last moment...

Update: according to Sky News, the journalists have called in from Amman, and they're alive and safe. This means that Jesse's latest massive exercise in public masturbation has been stifled before it really got started. It's another victory for democracy.


Rampant Egomania Watch

Berlin Relives WW2 Battle as Baghdad Under Attack

*Banging head on desk*

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) - Images of Iraqi soldiers and civilians killed by a dominant invader have revived a nightmare for Germans who put up pointless resistance during the final World War II battle in Berlin.

The U.S.-led war against Iraq has stirred emotions around the world, yet the television pictures of dead Iraqi soldiers and civilians have touched an especially sensitive nerve in Berlin, where the horrific 1945 siege has left lasting scars.


Maybe if they had taken the time to kill Hitler, it wouldn't have come to that... Just a thought...

"My heart goes out to the poor suffering people in Baghdad," said 76-year-old Gerhard Peters, who deserted the army in Berlin just days before the war ended in 1945. "I'm sure they didn't want this war just like we didn't want our war. And now they're dying for it. I can imagine they are just as miserable as we were."

Hey, go sell that soft shyte elsewhere, you lying two-faced git! It was obvious to the whole world how you didn't want your war, which was forced upon you after you invaded Poland, waltzed through France, and chose to piss off most of the civilised world. Oh, sorry, I'm willing to bet that, prior to deserting the Wehrmacht five minutes before the end of the war, you were a member of the underground opposition to Hitler (a bit of fiction almost on a par with the great lie of World War II, otherwise known as the French Resistance).

Who started WWII then, the Poles?! Fuck off, Gerhard.


BBC Watch

The latest absolute calamity taking place in Baghdad, according to BBC reporter Rageh Omar (another one of those old Kikuyu names, no doubt): almost all the phones in Baghdad are dead, which distresses the city's inhabitants to no end.

Well boo-bloody-hoo... If you have time to bitch about the lack of phone service, I have to really start questioning your sense of priorities (there definitely musn't be enough "shock & awe" afoot).


HEH! (Con Grano Salis, but HEH anyway...)

The Iraqi Information Minister just showed up on BBC News 24, he claimed that American warplanes had attacked two buses, killing and wounding American and European human shields!

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Well, those are breaks, eh? He then reflected on the irony of Americans killing Americans... I can only speak for myself, but I lost more valuable things the last time I blew my nose.

[Homer] Mmmmmmm, Schadenfreude... [/Homer] ;)


All Thankings, all the Time...

Well, my morale has been on something of a roll lately (blog-wise) because of people that have linked to me, blogrolled me, etc. Just when I thought that I couldn't possibly be in a better mood, something happens that surprises me, and fills me with even more good cheer.

I received an e-mail from Rachel Lucas yesterday, she actually responded to my invitation to come and look around (thus beating the only other respondent, Steven Den Beste, who sent me a cheerful "Please remove me from your mailing list." It's fortunate that I don't have a very fragile ego...). The e-mail was short, but very sweet, and she has blogrolled me over at her place.

To my five visitors that haven't spent quality time on Rachel's site, go, go now...

Rachel, thank you (and I will answer that e-mail today).

Cheers,

Paul


Just as an aside...

This morning, Blogspot is allowing me to post, but not publish. Apparently Pro users do not have this problem, this is probably a sign... *groan*


Assorted Thankings (Part X of an ongoing series)

I noticed yesterday that I have been blogrolled over at On the Third Hand; this brings me joy (obviously). To those of you that didn't come from there already, go say hi.

Kathy, thank you.

To those of you that have made it over here from On the Third Hand, welcome!

Cheers,

Paul


Monday, March 31, 2003


The Ladies from Hell strike back.

According to Sky News, it seems that troops from the Black Watch have managed to rescue the two British POWs, and have brought them back unscathed.

The Black Watch, one of the few regiments that combines centuries of figthing tradition with a kick-ass Pipes & Drums section.

Now if only the Canadian Black Watch (Royal Highland Regiment of Canada) was there fighting side by side with them, as they have on so many occasions since the Boer War. *sigh*

Update: I have been watching "Defeat-fest Daily", otherwise known as BBC News 24. It seems that those two guys that the Iraqis claimed to be British POWs were actually Kenyan lorry drivers working out of Kuwait. I probably wouldn't have thought of them as POWs if they had shown pictures of the one with the dreadlocks...


I can't possibly improve on this...

The following is an excerpt from an essay by David Warren on the shameful situation in which some of us Canadians find ourselves.

The voice, like Mr. Young's, reminds me of the Canada from which I myself came, the country of my birth. The Canada of my parents, and of their parents, the Canada that remains, in my heart. Of my grandfather who saw Vimy Ridge, and my dad who learned to fly a Spitfire. The Canada that came before the Canada of today, before the Canada of Jean Chrétien -- before this New Canada that makes me heartsick, as it does several millions of my fellow Canadians -- that fills us with such a deep sense of shame.

This New Canada, and these New Canadians -- who can no longer look an American, nor a Briton, nor an Australian in the eye. This Canada that despatched its few remaining available soldiers hurriedly to peacekeeping duties in Afghanistan, as a kind of insurance, in case the Americans asked for help. ("Sorry! We gave at the office.")

"How dare you!" I have felt, listening to the latest poll-driven volte-face from the most contemptible prime minister this country ever had; or to the little anti-American licks from the lickspittles who people his offices and benches -- Françoise Ducros ("moron"), Benoit Serré ("trigger-happy"), Colleen Beaumier ("how many children?"), Carolyn Parrish ("bastards"), Herb Dhaliwal ("let the world down"), and Mr. Chrétien himself. ("Not everyone around the world is prepared to take the word of the United States on faith" -- and he said this in Chicago.)

If any American, or Briton, or Australian, or free man or woman, should happen to be reading this, I want you to know that I am not speaking only for myself. I am speaking on behalf, quite literally, of millions of Canadians, who are every bit as disgusted as you are with our country. You have the same kind of people -- you will know perfectly well -- within your own countries. The difference is, in Canada they are in charge.

In this particular moment of truth, and for all time, America had a Bush, Britain had a Blair, Australia had a Howard -- each one of them willing to stand, and face the music; each one a politician, but also a man. In this same moment of truth, and in the histories forever, Canada had the scuttling Chrétien.

We elected him, and his Party. The shame is ours to redeem.


Hear, hear; go read.


Oh, whoop-dee-bloody-doo...

US Security Measures Drive Asylum Seekers to Canada

There goes the neighbourhood.


I love the smell of Schadenfreude in the morning...

NBC, MSNBC terminate Arnett

Heh.

March 31 — NBC and MSNBC on Monday said they had terminated their relationship with Peter Arnett after the journalist told state-run Iraqi TV that the U.S.-led coalition’s initial war plan had failed and that reports from Baghdad about civilian casualties had helped antiwar protesters undermine the Bush administration’s strategy.

I never cease to be amazed by Baghdad Peter's ability to jam his foot so deep into his mouth that it's lodged in the vicinity of his oesophagus.

“IT WAS wrong for Mr. Arnett to grant an interview to state controlled Iraqi TV — especially at a time of war — and it was wrong for him to discuss his personal observations and opinions in that interview,” NBC News President Neal Shapiro said in a statement.

Mr. Shapiro has just earned himself today's "No Shit, Sherlock" award.

“Therefore, Peter Arnett will no longer be reporting for NBC News and MSNBC.”

*SLAP*

Arnett, who won a Pulitzer Prize reporting in Vietnam...

This should indicate clearly that he has exceeded his shelf-life by quite a bit.

...for The Associated Press, appeared on NBC’s “Today” show Monday to apologize for his statements.

Unfortunately, he was a day late, and quite a few dollars short.


Ahhhh, young love...

Militants call Israel suicide bomb 'gift to Iraq'

So we're back to calling them "militants" again?

At least 49 injured in Netanya attack

The Religion of Peace™ strikes again.

NETANYA, Israel (CNN) -- A suicide bomb that injured dozens in northern Israel Sunday was "a gift to the Iraqi people," according to a Palestinian militant group that claimed responsibility for the attack.

I can only hope that the IDF will reciprocate with a suitable gift, to do otherwise would be rude.

The bombing, which took place at a busy cafe in the coastal town of Netanya, injured at least 49, five of them seriously, Israeli police and ambulance services said. Ten Israeli soldiers were among the injured.

At least it's nice of Yasshole's Little Minions™ to always confine themselves to attacking strategic military targets, like cafés... Miserable shyte-faced bastards...


Sunday, March 30, 2003


Just bear with me for a moment...

People are renaming French toast and French fries; maybe another small change would be good...

If tuna is considered to be the chicken of the sea, wouldn't "the French of the sea" be more appropriate?

Just a thought...


HEH.

(Hat tip: Andrew Castel-Dodge)

The bitch-slapping of Michael Moore (A.K.A. Fat Bastard, Lardo, etc.) continues. Today, the Telegraph chimes in:

We should all be grateful to Michael Moore for livening up the lowest-rated Oscars in history. For those brave few who hadn't yet tuned out or fallen into a coma, the voluminous star of Bowling for Columbine picked up his Oscar for Best Documentary and launched into a tirade against America's "fictitious election", its "fictitious President" and his "fictitious reasons" for war with Iraq.

He was greeted with a few cheers and more boos, but took both as evidence of his popularity. After all, most of the booers were only booing the other booers. As he explained afterwards, "The booing that started was way up in the balcony" - that is the nobodies in the cheap seats - "and then the people supporting what I was saying started booing them." If memory serves, that's what Elena Ceausescu told Nicolae as they came in through the French windows.


Go read the whole thing.


Wow...

I don't know what quirk of fate brought this about, but I've been mentioned over at A Gaggle of Gals (and one Guy), where food for thought and for laughter are in ample supply. Do go say hi to them.

To the Gaggle, and especially Ith, thank you.

To those of you that have made it here from the Gaggle, welcome!

Cheers,

Paul


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